Malar Ganapathiappan

New event announcement

Spring Equinox & New Moon Journaling Event: Dream your New Beginnings

It’s officially spring! This week is packed with new beginnings: spring equinox, aries new moon, lunar new year.

Astrologically, this week is powerful for manifestation.

By identifying your desires (and affirming them in writing), there is a much greater chance of them coming true in your life.

But maybe you’re still feeling a bit stagnated or mentally chaotic from what’s felt like a long winter.

Before jumping into new dreams, it’s helpful to recenter and honor the past.

Transitioning consciously into the new season means integrating what you learned from the previous season, taking into account your current state, and dreaming of new desires for the future.

This is a great week to gently ease yourself into a more active season of longer days.

Through this process, you become grounded with a renewed sense of purpose and personal power to create your ideal life.

We are all powerful creators with the ability to create the conditions in our life.

~

Join us for a Spring Equinox / New Moon Journaling event.

Let’s do some collective dreaming to plant seeds of what we want most in our lives as well as the world we share.

You may find yourself looking back at what you write today several months from now and celebrating how what you’ve written has showed up in your world!

Please have a journal and pen handy.

Optional: Find an object or inspiring image to keep nearby as you write for inspiration.

Details

Thursday, March 23, 2023
5:00 – 7:00 PM Pacific Time
$20

Register through Eventbrite or Meetup

When speaking with my friend and colleague Amber Beckett @TheHelloCode about facilitation, Amber shared with me two mistakes facilitators who have the basics down often make in facilitation. 

What she shared hit home.  As soon as I learned that I’d made one of the mistakes before, I understood the ramifications from both sides, as both facilitator and participant.  

I’ve given intentional design in facilitation a lot of thought as a facilitator, and also as someone who’s attended a lot of (usually personal development-oriented) events.  

Many events don’t feel safe for sensitives and non-extroverts

I’m picky about the types of events I attend.  Many are designed for extroverts.  More than that, many event experiences don’t feel safe, especially for those who are highly sensitive, socially anxious, neurodivergent, become nonverbal under pressure, or simply need more quiet processing time.  So it’s very important to me to create spaces that do feel safe for these sorts of people.  

I believe intentional design is important, and can be difficult to do. 

Even attempts to allow for choice can easily become uncomfortable unspoken expectations.  Part of that is knowing as a facilitator how things land for your audience.  It’s similar to writing where it’s hard for the writer to fully understand the reader’s experience because you’re so close to the words!  

Careful thought creates magic

It’s one thing to toss a word like “safe” around, and another to actually put the time and effort into making conscious choices around facilitation that go beyond what you might have been taught or experienced.  Structuring an event can seem pretty basic and straightforward, but careful thought creates magic.  Which makes it feel even better to all involved.  

It’s okay to make mistakes, and more important to learn from them.

Two facilitation don’t-do’s I learned from Amber

1. Don’t wait for people to arrive.  
   
   It’s disrespectful for people who are there on time.  This also perpetuates lateness by making it okay for people to be late.

2. Don’t layer in lots of engagement for engagement’s sake.  
   
   Like asking participants to put a number 1-5 in the chat in response to a question you don’t care about the answer to.  Engagement should affect the outcome of meeting.

Amber’s work is around conversation as a form of activism and helping to democratize conversation.  I’m looking forward to learning what to do instead of making these mistakes.

She’s offering a 3 day workshop development series at the end of this year.  Learn about it here.

Once you put it in words, it’s permanent… right?

This is a big stalling-point for many people who are writing. 

They’re afraid that once they write something, they can’t change their mind.  They need to choose one opinion and stick to it.  They can’t take it back.  If their work isn’t perfect, it will be a painful disappointment forever.

Yikes, big stakes.

The way I see it, you don’t have to be absolute to complete your draft or piece of writing.

Especially for emotional, heart-centered people who find that too much rigid and defined structure hinders their creativity.  Or those who feel like they perpetually change their minds.

Completion is how you define it.  When you’re crafting your own written piece, you have the freedom and flexibility to decide what form your piece takes.

Other ways to think about absoluteness in writing…

• This is but one piece of writing.  You don’t have to make it bear a greater burden than it can serve.  There’s always another story.
• We are all constantly learning and evolving, changing and growing.  It is a natural process to see things in new lenses with the more experiences you have.  You’re allowed to change your mind.
• You don’t need to have it all figured out!  You’re human.
• Sometimes the words just can’t capture all the nuances.  And that’s okay.
• Trust that the heart will come through. And the reader can read between the lines when necessary.  Absoluteness often arises from over-intellectualizing.

What are you afraid of?

I invite you to acknowledge it for yourself.  This way, the fear or resistance won’t stay in your subconscious and lead to frustration.

Is it around perfectionism?
Not wanting to be seen as indecisive?
Needing to capture all the nuances?
Not wanting to be judged?

Sometimes naming the fear is enough so that it isn’t taking over.  You can find a way through it if you know what it is.

Ways to soften writing that feels too absolute

1. Use metaphors.  Metaphors speak to our creative brains, and this can evoke many connections when it feels like the words are too black and white.
2. Take the reader on a journey instead of telling just the solution.  Describe the story.  
3. Add a disclaimer or caution.  For instance, that this is written in 2022 and reflects your views at this time, and these views may change in the future.  
4. Write to an audience.  Sometimes you’re trying to make your writing serve multiple purposes, so getting to one core thread is too hard; it’s too hard to tie all your ideas together.  Picking an audience to write to means you might say one thing to them that you may say differently to another audience.  
5. Name valid hesitations or concerns directly in the writing. Especially if these are coming from your intuition saying something is off here.

Alternate solutions when you’re afraid of being too absolute in your writing

Consider making a blog or a website to hold your writing.  These are creative forms that aren’t expected to be “perfect” and can be changed at anytime, unlike a traditional, physical book. 

This may satisfy your creative calling.  Or at the very least be a step to get comfortable with the evolution of your ideas before putting it into the form of a book.  Sometimes you just need a few iterations for it to feel good.  Not every piece of writing has to be a book, or has to be published professionally to serve its purpose.  

The beginning is the doorway to the unknown.

For those who are analytical or tend towards perfectionism, much mental analysis tends to happen before actually getting started with writing.  The fear or discomfort is often around the uncertainty.

Like you know you want to tell a story but you’re not sure how to start.  You fear failing. You question if you’re a good enough writer.  You worry about being terrible with revision.  You shudder at the thought of sharing the story with an audience.

But nothing really matters beyond starting!  Because that’s where you are at this moment.  And often, this current moment is what really matters. 

If you haven’t started, you haven’t run into the problems you’re worried about yet.

Finding enough time to write the whole thing, knowing how to revise to a final draft, sharing something that feels too raw… you don’t even have a draft to work with!

The more you work on something, the more you learn.

When you have a project you want to start but it seems too daunting to actually sit down and put pen to paper… know that it does get easier. 

As you go, you get information about what’s worked well and what hasn’t worked as well.

Think of it like an experiment.  You try something, reflect on what happened, and set intentions to improve future outcomes. 

This releases the fear and stress about something five steps away from where you are right now.  

In this way, you’ll discover whether you need help, and exactly what type of help would be most useful.

If revision or sharing feels too complicated, it’s probably not the right time yet.

Analysis paralysis is super common, so please don’t beat yourself up for it.

I invite you to take a breath.  And check in with yourself.  

Is now the right time to get started?

1. At this current moment in time, do you have something that feels important to say?  See if your body says yes (you feel expansive and excited) or no (you feel contracted and uneasy).  Okay, that’s good information.
   1. If it’s a no–you don’t have anything that feels important to say in this moment–honor that.  There may actually be nothing to do, to work on, to accomplish, to fixate on creatively at this moment.  This might mean it’s time to rest or reset.
   2. If it’s a yes–you have something that feels important to say–do you feel like at this moment you can write?  See if your body says yes or no.  Again, good information.
      1. If it’s a no–you can’t write at this moment–honor this and check back later today or tomorrow.  
      2. If it’s a yes–you do feel like writing at this moment–how long would feel good to write?  (It might be a good idea to check your calendar at this point!)  This might look like 10 minutes.  It might be an hour.
         1. Well, what are you waiting for?  Go write!

Beginning can have a lot of worries tied to it, but ultimately it’s just like anything else. 

Can you fail a beginning?  Sure.  But failing provides wisdom–fertile soil for fresh starts.

Not having anything on paper means that a lot of the spinning happening in your mind is just over-analysis that isn’t as productive as it can feel like!

One baby step of starting can lead to a second draft, which leads to a third, and before you know it, you’ve got a complete piece you’ve created with your bare hands.

There’s no “perfect time” to start.

So why not start now on the things that feel important?

There may be many reasons why you can’t write at the moment…

• You don’t have time.
• You’re not inspired.
• You’re in the shower.
• Your pens ran out of ink.
• You’re on a work computer without access to a private document.
• You’re out of practice–it’s been so long you don’t know how to start.
• Your cat, dog, or other pet is asleep in your lap (or laying across your keyboard).
• You have an upper body injury or condition that prevents you from being able to write.

Your reasons could be perfectly valid.  Luckily, there are other methods to express yourself creatively when you’re not up to writing.

One such method is voice transcription.

Voice transcription is well suited for multiple purposes.

It shines the most when you have something to say but don’t have the time to capture it. This way, you won’t have as much to clean up when you’re editing the transcription.

It also works when you don’t quite know what you’re going to say and have time to weed the transcription to uncover the jewel.

It’s great for first drafts. You might even try poetry, or brain dumps when you want to talk through ideas. Or simply a memo to remember an idea later.

Two successful ways I’ve used voice transcription:

Google documents through phone (it can’t be accessed through the computer).

The app Otter.ai, which lets you both record your voice and see the transcription.

Both are free.  Otter has a paid version.  There are also tons of other voice-to-text apps out there.

Tips for using voice transcription to access resonance and flow through your words

1. Listen to the quality of your voice’s sound.

You may start off a bit shaky or creaky when you start speaking with doubt.  As you grow more certain, you’ll be able to hear your levels of confidence rise and your voice sound smoother and fuller. 

When you hear the strength in your voice, this is an indicator you’re speaking more from your heart / gut / inner wisdom.

2. Pay attention to your body when you speak for how you feel.  
   
   You might feel the sensation of speaking from higher in your body, like your face or throat.  This contrasts with speaking from the belly and chest.
   
   Also be open to feelings of contraction and expansion. 

The sense of expansion and speaking from a resonant lower place in your body are both signs of accessing your deeper truth.

3. Make use of hand gestures as you’re speaking.
   
   By watching your hands move, you can gain insight through movement and metaphor for what you’re trying to say.
   
   Use your hands to shape your ideas in the air as you speak. You might find that you get stuck less often while you’re talking when you move your hands. Hand gestures can help you transition more seamlessly from one idea to the next. 
   
   Read more about this in the book The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul.

4. Engage your senses; don’t just watch the words appear on the screen. 
   
   Take in the sights around you and make use of the environment as inspiration.  Let yourself walk around the room, sway, or make circles with your body as you talk.

I’ve had times when using voice transcription provided such ease in cutting through excuses and challenges around writing, it almost felt like cheating. 

But why take the harder route when there’s a simpler one available?  Voice transcription might become a welcome addition to your regular writing habits.

Have you used voice transcription when you’re struggling to write or just as an addition to writing longhand or typing? 

I’d love to hear what has worked for you, what apps you use, or what your challenges are with using voice transcription instead of writing.  

The first time I saw pre-serum Steve Rogers in the first Captain America movie, my skin prickled. 

Something felt off about him. 

How had they filmed Steve through that significant physical transformation, taking him from a frail 5’4″ and 95 pounds to a powerfully built super soldier at 6’2″ and 240 pounds?  

It felt like neither the same nor different actor.

It wasn’t until years later, watching a behind-the-scenes feature of Steve’s transformation, that it clicked.  

(spoiler?) The shot was filmed six times with the same actor, then digitally manipulated on screen to make the character appear smaller, skinnier, and frailer.  

Despite the care, time, and technology they put into it, the pre-serum character felt off to me in a visceral sense.  My body knew something wasn’t right, even though my mind couldn’t name what it was.

Most people have a gut-level sense to detect inauthenticity.  

A lot about the satisfying feeling from the Captain America movie depends on the viewer making a connection to frail Steve.  The viewer can’t afford to notice anything off about him.  The producers did everything they could to make it as realistic as possible to convince the viewer.  This meant a great deal of digital manipulation.

Similarly, even when words are carefully crafted and edited six times, if there’s something off about them, readers can sense it.  

When you’re writing and the success of your future or your self-acceptance hinges upon how people receive the words, you may work and re-work your writing to make it good.  You want the words to have a certain feel, serve a particular purpose.

But nothing is the same as speaking directly from the heart.  Where people can respond with the same openness, curiosity, and depth as you write from.

When people sense something off, their attention naturally goes to figuring out what it is instead of taking in the story’s intent.

~

So how do you write authentically?

Most of all, talk about what matters.  Please write about what matters to you.  It’s okay if no one else is talking or thinking about it.  It’s not about what you think you should be doing. Or what others want or need you to do to make them feel better.

Tell the story of your heart instead of trying to convince.  A story is more potent than empty text, research, or instruction.

When you sense something off, start there.  Put words to what you’re feeling, and let this unseen sense organically guide you to authentic truth.

Go with what gives you shivers and tingles.  Go with what touches you so deep, you feel tears in the corners of your eyes.  Even if it makes you feel a bit like throwing up, this is more real than apathy and numbness.

You will likely not be able to define your destination, or be able to tell where the words will take you.  Some of the most powerful outcomes are surprises that come out of being receptive to your impulses.  

So feel into your body as you’re writing.  Do you feel heavy and distant?  Or expansive and energized?  Look specifically for an opening in your heart and softening of your tissues.

When you’re stuck, ask someone who feels safe to mirror back to you what they hear as you read your words.  What do they feel and sense?

Be in your highest integrity, letting people take what they need and leave the rest.  Their reactions aren’t personal.

With technology affording complacency and mimicking a false sense of reality, there’s especially a need now to tap into our humanity, connect with the natural world, and live in authenticity.  

Our unused gut instincts are manifesting as physical illness and fatigue.  Anxiety and desperation.  This is for a reason; there’s a cause. 

Authenticity serves the collective, because truth and care for all living beings is required to balance technological advancement.

Authenticity may not be as pretty as a pill to swallow, a one-size-fits-all instant cure, and that’s okay–it’s not meant to be.  

Life is messy, and the state of the world is messy.  Pain is a sensation that comes along with living.

Start by putting words to what matters and feel the sigh of relief when doing so–this breath will ripple through the collective.

Let the people who need your story past the armor.

I’m a sucker for superheroes. So despite my aversion to violence, I found myself drawn back to the cinematic tale being spun.

We all need these stories that touch our hearts. That make us feel parts of ourselves we may not even be aware of… Until someone puts the words together and names it.

When you’re sad summer’s over
You didn’t do enough
Sunny long days have ended
You’re in such a rush

Yet. Have you forgotten 
How much you love
Curling under a lamp to read
Wearing cozy pajamas in soft cotton
Warm blankets as you fall asleep
Amber hues of your favorite tea

How about giving yourself 
Permission to be
Whole and one part
Full and empty
Cold and warm
Sad and happy

Replace the black-white text on the screen
And ruminating pull of old memories
Sit outside 
Stare at a tree
Until your gaze softens
Your vision sharpens
To take in both the whole and each leaf
Shadows, colors, and each vein apiece

Hear the stream of water
While washing your hands
As you notice the yearning
For dirt, sky, and sea
All the voices of nature’s symphony

At the end of the day,
Look back to June 21
Who are you now
Who were you then 

In three months
What shifts and changes took place?
Honor what’s happened
Your big dreams need not be erased

It’s all good, just choose to see 
What all happened with no judgment 
So you can be free

Write the goodness you never could’ve imagined
And moments of unexpected ease

Finally set your intention
To make new memories
In the hands 
Of autumn’s waiting glory