You’ve always felt different.
It might look like being introverted in a world that rewards extroverts, being a deep thinker in a superficial world, having a body shape that doesn’t match what’s considered normal, having an illness or disability that isn’t obvious when looking at you, or being neurodivergent or highly sensitive.
As a result, you’re lonely, watching your life happen instead of feeling engaged with it. You probably asked yourself: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be normal? Why did I have to be like this? Since you were young, you may have believed your differences to be a curse.
Your differences may feel like an invisible burden no one else knows about, preventing you from having the life you want.
This painful invisibility and numb emptiness you carry inside can cause you to feel disconnected with your life.
You might feel disconnected with your relationships. They might feel superficial, and you’re longing for something deeper with your friends and family.
You might feel disengaged with your work. You might feel your work doesn’t have meaning, you’re bored, unsatisfied with your daily routine. You might feel like you’re wasting your life, like you’re meant to do something more but don’t know what it is.
You might feel isolated within your community and others around you. You might feel like you don’t have a desire to meet new people, or don’t feel like you belong in the groups you’re a part of.
You might just not feel at ease within yourself. Maybe you find yourself not speaking up when you want to, or you realize you’ve got low-level tension in your body whenever you’re in a group.
You spend a lot of time enjoying books and fantasy worlds. And, you wish you could feel satisfyingly connected to your own life instead of vicariously living through fantasy.
You know life is short and you don’t want to continue feeling empty.
You’ve probably already tried lots of things to create connection in your life.
You may have tried working with other coaches on this. Though you felt hopeful at first, it didn’t work.
You may have tried self-guided books, self-help, and programs to learn relationship skills, identify your purpose, or improve your communication so you can connect with people and make life more satisfying.
You might even have forced yourself to join groups with the promise of meeting people like you, but didn’t succeed in making lasting connections.
The thing is, these programs may have been missing an internal focus. Until you’ve focused on the internal and strengthened your relationship to yourself, it’s very difficult to make connections with other people and in other areas of your life.
The programs you’ve tried may not have been customized for you. They may have taken a generic goal-setting one-size-fits-all approach or identified the steps to the solution for you instead of being highly customized to meet your needs.
What you’re going through may feel painful and shameful, which makes it hard to work on consistently on your own with self-compassion. Change is hard to do on your own. When it becomes difficult, it can be all too easy to go back to your old ways of being. That’s why having someone trained to do this with you is helpful.
The most satisfying connections start with your internal relationship to yourself. Owning your own experience eases the way to fulfilling communication and sharing your truth with raw authentic vulnerability.
This program is designed to give you the personal support you need and heal your internal relationship first so you can set the stage for creating better external connections. And it’s personalized to you, customized for exactly what you need.
“Since beginning my work with Malar, she has helped me gain a stronger sense of stillness, calm, and awareness. She is an exceptional listener and allowed me to explore my needs in a way that I felt understood without passing judgment. Malar helped me access my powerful state in a way that was truly authentic to me. She made me feel very supported and championed in the attainment of my goals.”
Kimberly McDermott, PhD
This program is for:
People who’ve always felt different and struggle with feeling disconnected.
This program is also for you, if you:
Want deeper and more satisfying relationships and life.
Feel your work doesn’t have meaning and want to feel more connected to your work in the world.
Feel like you don’t belong in your communities and want to feel connected in the groups you’re a part of.
Generally sense something is off in your life, even if you can’t define exactly what it is.
Consider yourself quiet or shy and are looking for a way to express yourself.
Want to create and live a purposeful life.
Want to tell your stories and be heard.
Struggle to make sense of your emotions, and why you feel the way you do.
Are introspective, creative, and enjoy writing.
This program is not for you, if you:
Have no interest in personal development and diving deep.
Don’t believe in more beyond the physical reality or existence of greater spiritual meaning.
Are too busy to spend 60-90 minutes completing homework assignments between sessions.
Have new, unprocessed, or raw trauma.
Power of Writing
A powerful way of finding connection for the disparate parts inside you as well as situations with other people is through writing. Writing is a core component of this program. It’s a gentle method to access your truths and personal desires. In this program, you’ll be doing two types of writing: journaling and transformative storytelling.
Journaling might look like:
- Putting 30 minutes on a timer and writing out your thoughts and feelings, so you can see what’s really true and shift your emotional state.
- Defining your mission, values, and intentions to create connection.
- Answering a series of prompts to gain insight on your situation.
- Writing a letter that you may or may not send to release the weight of the words you’ve been holding.
- Tracking your goals/intentions daily to notice and celebrate your progress.
- Expressing your difficult emotions and feelings on the page, so you can be more present with yourself and others.
Transformative storytelling might look like:
- Writing the story of your differences to see what challenges it’s created and what you’ve learned and gained from it.
- Looking at your life journey through the lens of a story structure like the hero’s journey, so you can see what gifts you’ve gained through your challenges.
- Distilling your story into a powerful poem which lets you feel your inner power and remember who you are every time you read it aloud.
- Tapping into the magic and eternal mystery in creativity which wakes you up and gets you out of bed with passion.
- Seeing your life from an observer perspective, including the key characters, setting, and major conflicts impacting your life.
- Penning your own words for your past and what you want in the future.
These writing exercises are for personal growth, not publishing. You don’t need to be a writer and require no prior experience. Unless you wish to develop your story for an audience, your writing does not need to be polished. You can write poems instead of complete sentences. It’s okay to have imperfect grammar or spelling mistakes. This is more about exploring the story and observing what comes up in the process.
Everyone has an inner critic. If your inner critic holds you back from expressing yourself fully, we will explore that together so you can be more open and honest with yourself and put words to what’s necessary.
Speaking about your differences
Sometimes people worry that they’re going to have trouble doing this work because it’s hard for them to speak about their differences. I know this is real, and it’s not fun to struggle to put words to something you’ve kept hidden for so long. Thankfully, writing serves as a bridge to help you acknowledge your truth for yourself in the privacy of a document meant for your own eyes only. Then, you can decide what and how much you are ready and feel good about sharing. Writing is a beautiful and healing process to write what you find difficult to speak. Together, we’ll work to titrate the speed and depth of the process so that you feel comfortable, safe, and supported.
“While working with Malar, I discovered I had a story that wanted to be told, but I was also afraid to tell it. It felt so tender and painful. As I danced around telling it, Malar allowed me to be exactly where I was at and then asked me a few very helpful questions that opened up the words I needed to say. She held the space for me masterfully. I felt completely seen and heard and, through the process, healed something I didn’t even know needed healing.“
Karen Light, Studio Light Illustration
Being seen and understood through story
Through story and authentic vulnerable truth, we can normalize humanness and connect to the universal internal experience–the language of emotions and physical sensations. When we listen deeply and feel each others’ words in our hearts and bodies, we can feel a deep sense of being seen, heard, known, accepted, and belonging. In a world of screens and focus on the mind, this is a type of connection that feels lacking. Having the space to explore and talk about your experience as well as how you feel about it can be incredibly freeing and satisfying.
Sharing your story and seeing your coach nod in familiarity when hearing your words is a powerfully connecting experience, especially after being alone for so long. It is possible to find this safety for yourself.
“When we came into this, I really didn’t understand how just telling a story to you could be powerful for me. I didn’t understand what you were doing and now I do and I’m all for it.
This was really valuable for me. I’m going through this hard time. It’s been very helpful for me to contextualize. Delving into my story – it turns out, that’s everything. That touches everything. Without confrontation or woowoo.
Mostly it’s your being. You’re being such a healing space and a listener and reflector and helping me very gently with coaching. There’s all this space.
You’re REALLY trustworthy. I got a feeling like oh I can tell her this story. She can hold this story. A lot of people couldn’t hold that story.
You’ve made a difference for me. I’m surrounded by healers and great people but you are coming with beautiful presence. That is just gold.”
Wendy R Wolf, Transformation Facilitator
The core base of this program is designed to help you heal your relationship with yourself, so you can find connection with the rest of your life.
In this program, you’ll learn how to:
- Understand your emotions so you can better relate to other people.
- Know what you want, and your mission, so you can have a sense of purpose in the work you do or make career changes.
- Identify what separates you from a sense of belonging in your groups.
- Communicate for yourself with the people in your life.
- Honor your differences, where you feel isolated.
- Find your own voice and speak your truth.
- Appreciate who you really are, and what makes you unique.
- Connect to your inner wisdom.
You’ll experience a more positive connection to yourself (the various parts of you that make you, you–your body, your emotional landscape, your inner child, your inner wisdom, your higher self).
This program is based on the following principles:
Safety is necessary.
Before being able to explore what’s really at the heart of the matter, you need to feel safe. In this program, I work with you at the speed that feels most comfortable. There aren’t any predetermined milestones.
Your differences have a higher purpose.
Knowing your purpose creates a fulfilling life. In this program, I work with you to uncover the role your differences have played in your life and discover what might be possible in the future.
Story is how we connect.
Writing is a powerful healing and communication tool. In this program, we use storytelling, journaling, and writing prompts to help you get to know yourself better and increase your connection with yourself and the world.
Creativity opens the door to new possibilities.
Creativity is a source of passion, magic, mystery, and meaning in life. In this program, we allow the energizing energy of creativity to guide us to unexpected depths.
Emotions are a universal language.
Emotions can help you navigate your own personal journey of connection with yourself. In this program, I work with you to use your emotions as a compass.
This Program Fits To You
You already feel different and have probably been through programs that just didn’t work for you. I know that cookie-cutter approaches don’t work, and sometimes cause more harm. Everyone is unique with different life experience, processes, on their own journey. This program is customized so it’s something you haven’t done before while not rushing you ahead of where you are. Some parts of the process take longer than others and there is no push towards something that doesn’t feel right to you. Instead of you needing to fit to the program, this program fits to you. It’s centered around your inner voice.
“Malar is very understanding and calm. Malar speaks clearly and concisely. She has been really supportive. Malar held me accountable during the process. She would always remember what we discussed in previous sessions and focus on what I want to accomplish. She also granted me the opportunity to make all the decisions, from what to focus on, to where to explore. From being coached by Malar, I learned how powerful it is to account for all my successes.“
Cyclical, not Linear
Since you’re on this page and considering this program, you may be impatient and ready for more connection in your life! You’re willing to do the work to make it happen. So why do you need 12 sessions? The process of this program is similar to a creative or cyclical one. There are stages to complete and integrate, and sometimes you may have to go back and repeat something you thought you were done with. Especially since this issue likely isn’t brand new, but has been created over time, it takes time to untangle the threads of the disconnect you’ve been feeling and the life you want.
When you change your relationship with yourself, the outer world changes to match your energy. This means that spending time and energy on personal development can have profound results on your daily life. The truth of the matter is, if you show up with curiosity, openness, willingness to engage in the process, and commitment to show up even when things are difficult, you will feel more connected with yourself and have a stronger groundwork for feeling connected with your life. Being connected to self and personal purpose is the strongest sense of connection one can have, even beyond interpersonal relationships.
This program can help you:
- Feel more connected in your life.
- Feel more comfortable about your past story and create a future vision.
- Change your relationship to your differences.
- Express yourself fully.
- Pursue your purpose.
- Align with your soul self.
- Release old stories, patterns, and masks.
- Experience emotional catharsis.
Storytelling makes sense of your challenges, eases your trials, and puts your problems into perspective.
You can create the type of connection you want in life, whatever appeals to you. Fulfilling relationships, communities where you belong, meaningful work, energizing hobbies, uplifting volunteer service. It’s possible, once you uncover the layers. It can feel aligned and exciting.
About your guide
Certified Coach & Writing Instructor
In 2017, I received my coaching certification from the Academy of Leadership and NLP. There, I learned how to help clients change their inner language to help them connect with the various parts of themselves, overcome their struggles, and realize their dreams. My training as a certified Reiki II practitioner gives me a holistic understanding of people beyond our minds. I use this to help clients pinpoint how their experience of disconnection impacts their bodies, hearts, and energy, and clear emotional blockages.
Since 2008, I’ve helped writers connect with their words and find their voice as a writing instructor, mentor, and freelance editor. I blend practical knowledge with intuitive skills, supporting clients to uncover the language for the story that is most alive, joyous, and expansive. I’m good at making connections and finding patterns in what my clients share with me, which helps them see a bigger picture beyond the details they may be stuck in. Meeting clients where they are, I’m flexible and creative.
“Malar’s quiet strength made me feel safe and supported to explore the areas that I’ve hidden away for so long. Her genuine curiosity about my most authentic self helped me to become curious about myself as well instead of devolving into self-judgment. As a result, I was able to embrace the dark areas of my “shadow self,” freely express my desires, and openly share my inner light. Thanks, Malar!“
Nicole Lim, Ecommerce Consultant
12 weekly 60-minute Zoom sessions to help you create the type of deep meaningful connection you crave in your life.
- Personalized mentoring/coaching to support you in your journey towards a more satisfying, meaningful, and connected life.
- Writing prompts and exercises to help you to tell your stories and find your truth.
- Customized homework assignments curated to help you make progress on your own between sessions.
- Guidance in creating a personalized map towards self-acceptance and what gives you deeper meaning, purpose, and connection in life.
- Visualization, guided meditation, somatic exercises, coaching tools, neuro linguistic programming, and storytelling structures, as needed, to consciously create your story.
- Support setting goals and getting clear on your mission, vision, values, and desires.
- Collaboration through Google drive.
- 15 minute review of homework and anything that would support our work between sessions.
Program price: $1200. Monthly plans available: $400/month through PayPal.
Do you want to create more connection in your life?
When you’re longing for connection and interested in working together,
Step 1: Fill out the application form below to express your interest in the program.
Step 2: Once you submit this form, you’ll hear back from me through email to set up a free 30-minute consultation call.
Step 3: During this consultation call, we’ll make sure this program is a good fit. You’ll get to ask any questions you have.
Step 4: We’ll go over the next steps for intake during the call if you’re ready to get started. We may also schedule your first session. If this isn’t a good fit or you don’t want to go through with the program, I can refer you to other resources.
Please contact me. I welcome your inquiry.